The Cat's New Clothes...

Rachel, "Mom? Can I borrow the stuffed cat I made for you?"


Me, "Sure. Will I get him back?"


Rachel, "Yes, I just want to make him some clothes."

THE NEXT DAY....

Rachel, "Here you go Mom. Doesn't his straight-jacket look great?"

I kid you not. Rachel made my stuffed cat a straight-jacket! HEH! If I can get Danielle to take a picture, I will post it later. She did a GREAT job with it and he looks great....wonder if this is a new fashion trend or one that only applies to OUR family?

UPDATE: Rachel took this picture of Traveling Bear 'inspecting' the Cat's New Clothes....

QOTD: "Physics is imagination in a straight jacket." John Moffat

Choices...

I want to share something I read several years ago. It was so profound to me that I printed it out, framed it and have it sitting near my desk. I wish I could tell you who wrote it but I don't know that. After all this time, I can't even remember where I had originally found it but every so often I read it just to remind myself....

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Silver and Gold...

Last night I overheard Danielle saying to her sisters: 

"Silence is golden but duct tape is silver."

Ah, truer words were never spoken...

QOTD: "Magnetism is one of the Six Fundamental Forces of the Universe, with the other five being Gravity, Duct Tape, Whining, Remote Control and The Force That Pulls Dogs Toward The Groins Of Strangers." Dave Barry (1947-) American Writer and Humorist

(Originally posted 16 Jan 2008)

Daddy's Little Pearls Of Wisdom For His Children...

Nicole explaining to her father why she should be praised for the condition of her room... after all, SHE knows where everything is...

Husband, "I would sooner praise Hurricane Catrina for her organizational skills before I praised you for the condition of your room... at least she left the area in better condition than you..."

::Rachel grumpily doing the dishes...

Husband, "If Anne Frank could maintain a good mood and outlook in a death camp... you can maintain one while loading the dishwasher..."

QOTD: "The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate." Oprah Winfrey (1954-) American television personality, Actress and Producer

Is Email Really A Form Of Communication?

So I emailed my husband last week at work. He has been working hard to get things ready for a big inspection.  I had decided not to interrupt him with a phone call. He’s busy and I figured that if I emailed him on the computer he could get back to me whenever was convenient for him. So our communication went something like this:

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Ahem, Today's Post Is Brought To You By...

Rachel.  She usually does her spelling homework with her father. These are the sentences she did with him last week. (The apple does not fall far from the tree folks!)

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We Are Raising Social Hyenas...

Another post from the dinner table at our house....

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Do YOUR Kids Do This?

I wish I had batteries for the camera at this moment. I think you really need to have a picture to get the FULL effect...

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Santa Clause Might Want To Rethink Stopping At Our House...

My conversation with Rachel yesterday...

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Reserection of the 'I'll See You the Flu During a PCS and Raise You an Online Hotel Reservation that Turned Out to be a Drug Den' Military Poker Game...

First of all, I have to warn you that if you are not reading this post in a place where you can laugh, groan and make other loud noises bound to attract attention... you might want to wait until you are.  Oh, and it might take you a while to read the whole thing but there is something riveting about seeing a particularly unusual accident and being unable to look away.

I must admit that my favorite all time blogger has always been Air Force Wife.  I totally GET her humor, her husband's brand of humor and her family.  As much as I was sad that she closed down her own blog I was thrilled to see her as a permanent fixture on SpouseBuzz.

Now it has been a while since her particular post was written, but it is one of those that never goes out of the memory.  I laughed so hard, I was in serious danger of things better left unmentioned.  The comments were absolutely unforgettable.  For those of you who have no experience with military life... you will get a rare view of how the other half lives.  For the rest of you who have survived, we salute you!

So let me take you back in time to the post "I'll See You the Flu During a PCS and Raise You an Online Hotel Reservation that Turned Out to be a Drug Den".  Then come back here and read on for "I Raise You A Rat..."

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Deployment Humor...

WARNING: Do NOT drink or eat and read this...

When my husband gets deployed to wherever his super suit duties take him, he always tries to send me something humorous to keep our spirits up, while the girls and I are attempting to do the same thing.  It's almost like a battle... each side trying to make the other side laugh harder...

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The Silent Treatment (A Woman's Perspective)...

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment.  Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM ." He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight.  Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.

The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM . Wake up."

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

Understanding Women (A Man's Perspective)...

"I know I'm not going to understand women.  I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider."

Inspiring And Thought Provoking...

WARNING: Tear Jerker Post... Tissues May Be Required...

There are times when I read a post and the feelings it invokes are so profound that I have to stop and wonder if it TRULY was a coincidence that I read it at that particular time. Or, perhaps, was it meant to be a message or reminder to me to remember that despite everyday problems, there are truly inspiring things going on every day if only you open your eyes determined to see them. Determined to DO inspiring things which is often simply choosing to do the RIGHT thing.

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The Rest Of The Story...

I know that is is now past Veterans day, but a fellow blogger reminded me of this post.  I hope that he will post HIS original post but here is an interesting history lesson...





 


In the interest of angering the laundry Gods to whom I am supposed to be paying homage to by washing, drying, folding and putting away a gargantuan mountain of laundry (which I am still avoiding to post this) I was attempting to solve a little mystery. 

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A Series Of Unfortunate Events...

At the end of this post will be a poll (no it is NOT a quiz... sheesh!) and if you would be so kind as to participate. Believe me, by the end of this post... you'll be wanting to weigh in on the decision...

I asked my husband a couple of weeks ago to take the air conditioner out of the window. When the first hard frost comes and I'm shivering under the covers due to the draft coming through the air conditioner... well, it means it's time to take it out, winterize it and store it in the basement.

That is his job (when he is home and not off on super suit duties). Those air conditioners are heavy! How heavy? Read on...

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Why Men Should Never Take Messages...

Wax On, Wax Off...

Last night we were discussing the network system my husband has set up in our home and the fact that my face has been in an HTML book all day and I have not come up for air. My husband got to make dinner last night. :o)

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I Think I Tweaked My Blog Until It Exploded...

**UPDATE:  It has been pointed out to me that looking at my blog in mozilla foxfire is a lot better than in internet explorer.  I hope my visitors (and CRAP there were a LOT of you yesterday!) Will be kind enough to tell me any other problems I may be missing in any of the web browsers.  Pretty please?**

**ANOTHER UPDATE: I am starting over from the begining again...  :o(

Um, yeah.  I think you can tell that I am having technical difficulties.  But worry not!  I am a woman... and I have a PLAN!

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Position In The Universe...

Danielle was a little nervous about going away, and her Dad's solution was to dole out his unique wisdom...

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Rice Krispies, Butt Wind and Out of the Mouths of Babes...

A evening in the life of the Lemon Stand family...

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Mother/Daughter Conversations...

Nicole, "Mom, have you ever thought about having an affair?"

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I Couldn't Resist...

Hate Your Job And Need A New Perspective?

Are you having a bad day at work? Thanks to an old email I have just the thing to change that lemon into lemonade...

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Words of wisdom from a 16 year old...

Nicole, "'Normal' is not a state of being...  'Normal' is a setting on your washer."

QOTD: "Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin to slit throats."   H. L. Mencken (1880-1956) US Editor

PS (I honestly have NO idea why I put this particular quote with this post... it IS possible that I did not get my daily ration of chocolate...)

(Originally posted 4 Oct 2007)

Promotion Management Committee Proposal...

I can't help posting this.  I have been reading my old blog files and it just seems so appropriate for the current job climate...  It is also kind of odd to realize that this post is looking at past political history.  Someone please, either tell me I really am not getting older, or bring me some chocolate...

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Normal Dinner Conversation...

Danielle, "If I had to lose one of my senses, I would wish to be mute. It would be awful to lose the ability to see because I love to read and I would hate to lose the ability to hear because I love music so much. I could always learn to talk with my hands."

Husband, "Please Lord, I hope you're listening...."

(Originally published 16 Dec 2006)  

Bedtime Conversation...

ME to Erin: "Time for bed. Go get into your pajamas and brush your teeth."

Erin: "But I'm not tired. It's not a school night. I don't want to go to bed."

ME: "It's already way past your bedtime, it's time to go to sleep."

Erin heads over to Daddy because Mommy wants to send her to bed. She starts hugging him.

Erin: "It's not fair Daddy. I don't want to go to bed."

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Do Chinese Kids Try to Dig Their Way to America?

My family was sitting down at a restaurant having lunch. The question was actually stated more like this:

“When Chinese kids go out in their back yards, and they start to dig a hole, do their Mothers yell out the back door for them to stop digging a hole to America? Do they use a shovel made in the USA?”

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Planting A Garden To Watch It Grow...

Our youngest daughter who is now a newly minted 8 year old. She has been longing to plant flowers ever since her 2nd grade class grew some in paper cups at school. But her dream has become a nightmare for me.  I would have to help her.  Okay, I have to confess I'm afraid my inbred death-ray glare that activates on the sight of anything green would render her little flower garden to ashes. Then she would be standing there with tears streaming down her little face asking:

"Why did you kill them, Mommy?"

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Dinner Conversation At Our House...

Nicole, "I learned in biology today that if you get shot in the abdomen you should stick your finger in the hole so you don't end up with an extra nostril."

What do they teach in biology class these days?

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Breakfast at The Lemon Stand Household...

Husband (yelling up the stairs), "Erin your breakfast is getting cold!"

Erin, "I'M COMING!!!!"

 Husband "Hey! You don't yell at me. Go back upstairs and read your kid manual. It states that very clearly."

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Noah, How Long Can You Tread Water...

As the kids get older, I’ve discovered a stage in which I find it extremely hard to believe that I ever went through. (although my mother assures me that I wasn't unique enough to have skipped this part of childhood) The stage in which I speak of is the act of God that it takes to get them to take showers regularly without an argument...

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Questions Only Daddy Can Answer...

Ah, more wonderful conversation from the dinner table. There really needs to be a warning that drinking or eating anything at our dinner table may not be consumed in the manner nature intended.

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A Walk Down Memory Lane...

Since it has been so long since I have been able to read ANY of my old favorite blogs, I have been trying to see which ones are still around and sadly, many of them are gone.  Even more sadly... some of my favorite ones I used to love to comment on or link to in some of my old posts have... ::gasp::  forgotten The Lemon Stand.

No worries, at least not until my friends and family figure out I'm back and didn't send out the announcements...

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