There are times when our family conversations just have to be shared. Today I got a two-fer and never saw either one coming. Which, frankly, is the best way to enjoy our twisted sense of humor.
Today started off like an average Monday with me trying desperately to find three good things I could say about it.
An aside: If you are having a very bad day, or even an average bad day, try my lemonade recipe to turn any bad day into a sunny day... It really takes some practice to get it right so don't worry if it doesn't work right off the bat. Find three good things about your day already and really get creative with your imaginative descriptions. Like I said, this takes practice and since practice makes perfect, introduce the concept to everyone who annoys you. Then you too can have a two-fer kind of day. See how this works? End of aside.Back to my three good things: Latin Education, Catapults and Mondays. What's not to love? Let your imagination run wild. Wild is a good thing for Mondays. You may thank me for this bit of wisdom later.
This mindset, I took into the doctor's office with me this afternoon. Even after the excitement of finding out I had high blood pressure today and since it seems like I do nothing in half measures, it topped out at 157 over 117. My normal blood pressure always used to be 96 over 68. Always. Just another sign that I am improving with age. My doctor, however, did not agree with me and sent me home to take some blood pressure medication, lay down and do some serious meditation. I could have told her that I only know humorous meditation, but she didn't look like she'd take that comment well, and hell, I didn't want to ruin her day.
So off I trot to pick up the kids and then head home to do as the doctor ordered. This is where the first bombshell dropped.
Me to Rachel and Erin: "So the doctor told me to keep the stress level down and go home."
Erin, "I guess then, that now is not the time to tell you that you're about to become a Grandmother."
At first I thought I must have been mistaken, because that sure sounded like my 14 year old and not my 18 year old. There's an old saying that says it's the quiet ones you really have to look out for. Yup, Erin is definitely not the chattiest one in the family.
So no. Now would normally not be the best time to tell me news of that sort, but damn if I could stop laughing.
Then my husband gets home from his temporary duty in the Florida panhandle this evening... Just in time for a snow storm.
Another aside: Instead of hunting down and hurting the person or persons responsible for the Happy Snoopy Snow Dance, I've decided to have everyone I know start dancing the Happy Snoopy Spring Dance. I'm ready for flowers, maple syrup season, and allergies. Bring it on. I don't care if you can't dance. Do it anyway. No one will see you unless you do it at work or in a grocery store isle. So go ahead into your bathroom, turn on the shower to cover any possibility of odd noises coming through the door for your family to start worrying about. You'll feel so much better for it and I will be thrilled that you cared enough to help jump start Spring around here. 'Kay? End of another aside.Danielle came over for dinner and while the conversation was all that is normal at our dinner table, I nearly spit my teeth out when Danielle regaled us with her adventures on Face Book.
"I saw someone post, 'So you know when you are cutting a piece of paper and all of a sudden you realize your about to cut an atom.' and all I could think was, 'you just need to step away from the glue now'."
|"I picked the wrong day to quit sniffing glue!" ~ Airplane!|
Another successful lemonade-making opportunity. Life is good.